In Fair Cuccagna - All that Glitters

A Proof of Puissance - Of Pirates and Shares - A Debate of Doors - A Body Found - Magic Mouth Again - On Mapping - An Old Room - On the Languages of Twins - A Grand Hall Without a Puzzle - The Fickle Fate of Dogheads and Pirates - Cracks in Reality and Cracks in Walls - A King of Piss - Finding Loot - Labor - Another Hook for the Same Fish

Characters Present

Cristobert 1st (now 2nd) Level Karslish Mountebank
Jules Mozarin 1st Level Averois Magician
Craveel the Craven 1st Level Zenopolitan Fighter

Folavril 1st Level Averois Rogue

Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council Smythe 1st level Karslish Cleric

Hirelings

Maria - a one armed man in search of his complimentary one armed friend.

Baldassare - A cuccagnan magician now apprenticed to Jules

Agostino and Pietro-paolo - Two (deceased) pirates

Giacomo - A pirate still possessing his life

Events

• The session began in the Prince Dauphin/King Fish with Jules Mozarin asking his potential apprentice the nature of his foreign spell - The Importunate Insult. Baldassare merely answered with a gesture of a wand and soon Jules found himself overcome by the desire to kill his opponent. However the effect was over in an instant and Jules, laughing, agreed to hire the young magician, offering to give him one half of his own share.
• The party then began to debate a trio of pirates who wished to split a share between them but offered to serve as toughs and bodyguards. It was eventually decided that the dungeon is dangerous enough to warrant the use of such ruffians even at the increased cost, and Cristobert professed a hope that they would all die in the upcoming outing.
• They then took the worm-ship again to Prospero the Blue's manse. Outside they debated whether to again go by the secret entrance or the main entrance into the squat blue tower. Without their mapper they were unsure how near the secret entrance the land of the pseudomonopods lay.
• Soon one of the company noted some figure placed near the secret entrance that did not appear to be one of the strangely realistic statues. Soon it was discovered this was Testus, who earlier lost his life to the pseudomonopods. He had been strung up on a set of small boards, perhaps to serve as a warning against further trespass.
• Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council moved to get the body so it could be removed a bit and await a proper burial. He asked the priates to fan out and protect him but also carefully watched their reactions at seeing their reactions to a hireling being found in such a fashion. They seemed somewhat at ease with such violent ends. They were pirates, after all.
• There was a brief discussion of just what a "monopod" was, as Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council had not encountered the creatures. It was agreed that the party generally also had yet to encounter true monopods, due to the smallness of foot of those within the dungeon.
• This sign was taken to mean that the secret door was indeed near the pseudomonopods and therefore they headed south through the stout tower. Progress was slowed somewhat by Jules taking up mapping - the absence of their earlier mapper having shown the group the necessity of multiple copies.
• It was decided that they would hug the southern wall of the great room which contained the Magic Mouth in the hopes it would not trigger. Unfortunately it was found that their proposed destination - a large hall they had passed by a few times in the outing before last - could not be gained without crossing the magical threshold.
• The mouth made its pronouncement ("I can't come to the door right now...") but no creatures came ot molest the party.
• Passing up a nearby hall they found a door that they only vaguely remembered from previous exploration. A debate began about whether or not it should be opened with Jules ultimately arguing it should be since it would help complete the map and could not contain too large an area due to the fact that it lay between their current location and the exterior.
• Beyond they found a t-intersection and took the path south. There they found a small room used for firing arrows at trespassers. They had been here before, as was indicated by the empty arrow barrel and empty weapon racks; however, it confirmed Jules suspicion and also meant they had yet to pass through the north door of the intersection.
• Folavril listened at this door and heard many creatures clicking and warbling in some private language unknown to the outside world though clearly perhaps derivative of some earthly tongue.
• Some debate was had over whether or not this door should be opened. Ultimately this course of action was decided against and they left to go investigate the hall that had been their first target.
• And soon they found it - colonnaded and lined with braziers. Folavril lit all the braziers but seemingly this provided no effect outside of lighting. The room was dominated by two thrones, both broken. One seemed to have been smitten with some sort of great heat, with charred marks along its cracked face. The other had been destroyed by the traditional action of blunt force.
• One of the members of the party began to look through the rubble which attracted the attention of a number of toy dogheads from a nearby room. At first the dogheads seemed happy to see the party, as a few were recognizable to those that had previously fought alongside them against slimes. They were given a great number of rations and asked about nearby rooms.
• Unable to speak except in a yipping bark, they led the party into the room from which they had come. This was a guard room but also held treasure - a pile of platinum pieces and zircon cabachons. The eyes of the party became as the orbs of Valax, such was their avarice, and they concocted a plan seemingly wordlessly to separate the miniature dogheads from their treasure.
• Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council lifted a staff he carried and asked "do you like fetch?" The dogheads responded only with confusion. Hoping his plan would still work, he attempted to throw the staff back into the hall so that they would race off, giving Cristobert and Folavril time to work their roguish arts.
• Unfortunately all he succeeded in doing was smacking one of the little dogheads in the face, which greatly angered them and moved them to violence. Jules shut the door hoping to contain the anger to only those dogheads in the room with them, but the struggle soon involved both groups.
• The dogheads were overcome but not without the deaths of two of the pirates. Some of the party expressed dismay that such cute creatures had to die, but even those that did found their relentless onslaught annoying.
• Giacomo, now bereft of his two companions, agreed to continue to serve as the front line but only if their bodies would later be brought outside and given burial rights. Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council agreed.
• They then bound up a number of the weapons - short swords and spears - that were set for the doghead guards in this guard chamber and made their way back into the hall.
• At the edge of the great hall was either a set of alcoves or passages, and the party decided the exploration of these should be their next priority. They found that they were passages, both extending off greater than their torchlight could illuminate.
• Cristobert, ever watchful for traps and other mechanical devices, noticed a strange fracture in the door that at first made him feel as though he could see through the very wall. This later turned out to be a secret door and the party made ready to open it.
• Beyond the door was a once ornately appointed bedchamber, now largely burnt. A strange creature made of various animal parts placed roughly in human shape - much like the lost souls of the infamous Nightwick Abbey - stood before the bed micturating. He wore not but a cape and did not seek to hide the nakedness of his form.
• The party interrogated him some and learned that 1) he believed Prospero the Blue to be dead and Prospero the Purple to have "taken his color" 2) the manse was a place of arrogance and folly where a pretender sought to make himself king and that 3) he was the true king of the island.
• For this strange meeting the party dubbed him "the Piss King." They decided they wanted to loot the room and were not going to let some weirdo who "pees where he sleeps" further ruin their treasure. Cristobert attempted to strike him with a shot of his bow but found it bounced off his hide as if it struck granite.
• This did not deter the party, for they had magic weapons they believed would be sovereign against such a creature. Craveel and Folavril quickly rushed in with Sharp and Witchslayer. Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council followed after and attempted to aid them by pushing over the creature. Cristobert entered in an attempt to see if any treasure was obvious. He saw something glittering under the bed.
• Soon the piss king's life was ended, his last act was to call out for his mother.
• The treasure under the bed included a great deal of coinage (only some of which had been marred by the waste of the piss king) and a jeweled torque. The party fished the coins out with various implements to avoid polluting their hands and then had the hirelings carry the coins which were wet.
• This they decided was a good enough haul to leave the dungeon with and so they did, stopping only to retrieve the bodies of Agostino and Pietro-paolo.
• Back at the Great Wen the bulk of the party practiced their day jobs - Craveel served as a smith, Jules as a scribe, Cristobert as a lookout, and Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council as a street preacher. 
• Folavril, for his part, decided instead to gain rumors about "a place that would be easy to rob. Unfortunately he only heard about the opposite. Three bravos it seems had recently set out to rob the infamous House of the Gnoles, but none of them had returned to speak of it.

Monsters Defeated

13 Toy Dogheads, 1 Piss King

Treasure Gained

10 zircon cabochons (50gp each), 50pp, 1000gp, 5143cp, jeweled torque (500gp), a warped nightstand, 5 spears, 5 short swords

XP Per Player
587

Scitalis

 

A scitalis is a strange form of serpent found only on Cuccagna and its outlying islands. Whether it is the creation of some mad wizard - perhaps Prospero himself - or a relatively natural creature of the World of Nightwick is unknown to scholars. Some scant few believe that it is the descendent of normal serpents who have been warped for centuries by the weird magics of Cuccagna, though most agree that the magicians who inhabit the island have not done so for so long.

It appears as a serpent with a pair of vestigial wings and two stunted limbs, neither of which aid it in locomotion. Its head is rather like that of a normal serpent, but it sports two protrusions that look rather like the clipped ears of a fighting dog. In life its scales are pulsing and scintillating, forever creating new patterns across its opalescent hide. In death they maintain their iridescence but lose all sense of motion. 

Scholars of Cuccagna say that the mesmeric effect of the scales is created by a combination of their strange alchemical makeup and the creature's extreme body heat. The source of this heat, whether organ or stone swallowed in youth, has yet to be found.

AC 15 (4), HD 3, Attk 1 Bite (1d4 + Constrict), THAC0 16 [+3], MV 90' (30'), SV D10 W11 P12 B13 S14 (3) AL Neutral XP 30 NA 1 (1d6), TT U

• Brilliance: Anyone looking at the scitalis must save vs spells or become hypnotized until they can no longer see the scitalis (including if it dies) or until the victim is constricted. Victims stand still, simply gazing at the scitalis. 
• Averting Eyes: -4 penalty to hit. The scitalis gets a +2 bonus to attack.
• Constrict: 2d6 Automatic damage each successive round after a successful bite attack.
• Body Heat: If either damage die for Constrict rolls a 6, the victim must make a save vs breath or lose all flammable items.

In Fair Cuccagna (Session 3)

True Monopods, not encountered during this session

Buying Clown Shoes - Blood on the Ground - Debating the Path - Awaiting the King - Monopod Massacre

Characters Present
Cristobert 1st Level Karslish Mountebank
Cruart Staig 1st Level Karslish Fighter
Jules Mozarin 1st Level Averois Magician
Craveel the Craven 1st Level Averois[?] Fighter

Hirelings
Homobon aka Hambone - linkboy turned man at arms (deceased)
Maria and Marco - complimentary one-armed porters (fled to parts unknown)
Testus - Man at arms (deceased before his deal could be sused)

Events

• Remembering the missive from the "King of the Monopods" that they must only return when they had something of value to the monopods, the party purchased 15 pairs of clown shoes, hoping that their prosthetic bigness would easy the dysmorphia spoken of by those proto-monopods of the Lapis Vaults.
• They then purchased the services of a new man-at-arms, named Testus and purchased a polearm and armor for young Homobon, recently elated to receive the nickname Hambone.
• Arriving by wormship they again made their way up the beach and through the gardens towards the Lapis Vaults.
• They spied that something had moved the corpse of the cyclops they had slain last week, and hypothesized this to either be an enormous creature or a large number of little creatures (such as the toy dogheads).
• They then debated whether to follow the blood - which most agreed would lead to an early grave - or through the secret entrance. Being without their mapper from last week* they had some discussion about whether or not this was the nearest to their desired destination - the "kingdom" of "monopods."
  
• Entering through the secret entrance they had some doubts about their way but eventually landed on the correct door.
• Beyond the door they found a number of proto-monopod guards on edge, but at least one of the guards was relieved to see Cruart's face.
• He then left to go fetch the "King of the Monopods." Upon his majesty's arrival, Cruart dumps the clown shoes at their feet declaring they had brought something of value.
• Unfortunately the party miscalculated. The King of the Monopods does not title himself the King of the Protomonopods and is rather deluded as to the size of his feet. A reaction roll determined his response: immediate attack!
• "Kill them!" he shouted and his body guard rushed forward. The regular guards fled to rooms beyond as yet unexplored.
• The ensuing battle saw all of the body guards fall but also saw the death of Testus, Homobon, and the second severe wounding of Cruart Staig. The king was wounded and fled to chambers beyond but the guards returned to try to drive the party out of the kingdom. Craveel rushes to close the door.
• Jules rushed forward to patch Cruart up, but signs of monopods flanking from the side - evidently alerted by the guards - forced the party to flee through the secret entrance, Jules and Cristobert carrying Cruart together.
• This handicap meant the monopods had the potential to gain on them quickly, and for a bit it looked quite close, especially since Marco and Maria broke into a full run and fled from the site of the party. Their whereabouts are still unknown.
• The party did manage to make it to daylight where the protomonopods broke off the chase.
• From there they limped back to the wormship and returned to the Great Wen.

Monsters Slain

3 protomonopod bodyguards

Treasure Gained

None

XP Per Player

75

* I use Foundry's lighting system but not its reveal fog feature. Given the complicated maps I use for dungeons mapping is still required to be able to find your way.

In Fair Cuccagna (Session 2)

The Missing Wizard

The Death of a Cyclops - A Decision Made - Arrows - A Secret Door - Meeting with "Monopods" - Searching for Treasure - A Trap - Good Boys - The Chamber of Slimes - Treasure at Last

Characters
Cristobert 1st Level Karslish Mountebank
Cruart Staig 1st Level Karslish Fighter
Jules Mozarin 1st Level Averois Magician
Maglor 1st Level Changeling
Emmelot, 1st level Averois Magician

Hirelings
Homobon - linkboy, bestowed with a new nickname
Catelano - linkman who is very particular about the verbiage
Maria and Marco - One armed porters missing complementary arms
Giulia - Peasantwoman somehow trained in arms (deceased)
Jaco the Cruel - Hook armed man of violence (deceased)

Events

• Returning to the Lapis Vaults with a number of new hirelings and a new primary member in tow, the party was again costed by the mysterious giant of the second story.
• Cruart, in the mood for violence, denied the giant's suzerainty over the vaults. In a rage the creature ran from his window and momentarily burst through the verdigrised doors which act as the primary entrance.
• Unfortunately for the "giant" - actually an ogre-sized cyclops* - Maglor was ready with a fairy enchantment similar to the spell men of the World know as sleep. The raging monster entered an enchanted slumber and was soon slain in his sleep by the party.
• Again the party entered through the bronze doors, though Emmelot's initial attempts at mapping meant the party became strung out over a long area as she lagged behind, making notes, and Cruart forged ahead with wild abandon and suicidal ideation. 
• Cruart again triggered the magic mouth's message ("I can't come to the door right now") but the voice of the mouth seemed to summon no monsters.
• It was agreed that the party should move more carefully and a new method for going about the dungeon was developed (we started using a token to represent the party as a whole outside the battle, a thing that probably should've occurred to us before).
• Traveling up one of the corridors, a scant number of chambers were explored, netting the party a few arrows and little more. 
• The sound of a large number of creatures from behind one of the doors deterred further investigation and the party returned to the main hallway which springs from the magic mouth room.
• Travelling north they were briefly confronted by a strange set of creatures - much like dogheads but only a little over knee high to a man. Their heads the adorable yet malformed bugeyed visage of pugs. These barked a bit but soon backed off in apparent fright.
• Beyond the toy dogheads they found a long passage which led to a secret door to the outside. This could provide a potential future aperture for covert entrance should something be guarding they main one.
• They also found evidence that this secret door had been used by one-legged beings, though the feet were too small to be the famous monopods of Cuccagna.
• Returning inside, a failed listen check meant that they entered a room containing a number of "monopod" guards. The guards were pleasantly disposed towards the characters due to the ineffable charisma of its foremost members.
• They revealed that several of them possessed the same name, and indeed possessed faces remarkably similar - though still oddly different - from their counterparts. Further discussion revealed that they were ashamed of their tiny feet and at least currently refused to leave the vaults for neither the world of men would have them nor would the tribes of true monopods.
• When it was pointed out that there were a number of one legged men - in this case meaning the disabled - one of the Niccolo group of "monopods" immediately said he must leave but would return shortly. When he returned it was with the self-proclaimed "king of the Monopods."
• The party entreated with his majesty, but when the imprecise nature of their claim - i.e. that the one legged men in the Great Wen were not, in fact, grown in the vats of Prospero the Blue, the king became irritated. He sent the party away demanding that they only return when they had "something of value to offer the monopods."
• They spent some time in the corridor discussing what could be of value - including at least one suggestion of "clown shoes."
• Maglor suggested that the cyclops killed earlier may have heaped up a store of treasure in his lair and that they should return to stairs they had seen earlier since the enormous eye of the dead-thing had been seen on the second floor. This was agreed upon by all as a sound plan.
• They found the area above the stairs to be a similar gallery of arrow slits - one easily being noted as the one which the cyclops used to accost the characters. Unfrotunately, no treasure could be found in this space.
• Attempting to make the full circuit of its roundness, the party was surprised when a set of steel cylinders - eacy about 6 inches in diameter - sudden thrust up from the floor at such a speed that two of the main party were injured - Cruart receiving a concussion and Maglor breaking an arm - and the two men at arms the party had hired were both slain.
• The party retreated back for a moment to bind their wounds. Maglor was ready to continue on but could not use his shield arm, and Cruart was roused but unfortunately still seemed like he would do poorly in combat.
• They managed to locate the various cylinders in their niches and thread there way through the trap. Beyond was a great hall dominated by two pools choked with algae. Jules experimented with this for some time but found that the algae neither concealed treasure nor was itself magical. The party withdrew without revealing the full dimensions of the room.
• They then began to search for secret doors in the gallery. They found none, but just as they were about to finish they were interrupted by a group of toy dogheads.
• Emmelot tossed the dogheads a ration quickly followed by other party members and soon the little guys were very well disposed towards our adventurers.
• One of the members of the party demonstrated a coin and the way it glittered in the mix of torchlight and sunlight pouring in through the arrow slits. They hoped the dogheads would then know they sought a room filled with treasure.
• And the dogheads seemed to get the idea. Yipping excitedly and motioning for them to follow, the group of dogheads led them by a number of corridors - including another set of stairs down ot the ground floor.
• At last they came to a section where a great amount of strange, slimy material had gathered about the floor and the west wall. Two of the dogheads led the party ahead, the rest staying behind, and began to bark at a point in the wall which seemed to be seeping the slime.
• Maglor soon noticed a secret door and, with the help of one of the dogheads - lifted it above his head - as it seemed to work like a portcullis with no locking mechanism. Beyond they found a similar door - which was soon opened by a number of strange, gelatinous creatures!
• These jellies had a number of items in their bodies. They would exude long pseudopods that contained the item within it in order to attack. So if one had a knife inside it would protrude an arm ending in the knifes tip and attempt to stab you.
• A melee ensued, with Maglor almost losing his sword twice and with one of the dog heads being smacked in the head with a brick and another fleeing towards his waiting friends. Still, the party was triumphant without further casualties.
• The room beyond indeed contained treasure - several loose coins and a number of magic items. Some time was taken to gather these materials and then the party left the dungeon without incident.
• Back in the Great Wen the party had the items identified for a fee. They are listed in the treasure below.

Monsters Slain

1 Minor Cyclops, 8 Slimes

Treasure Gained

1 Helm of Alignment Changing, a treasure map, a Sword +1 (+2 vs Magic Users) that the runes name "Witchslayer," a Sword +1 that the runes name "Sharp," a ring of control animals, 175gp, 2000sp, 2 book covers of scitalis leather (300gp each), and 7 blood stones (50gp each)

XP Per Player

515

*The estimate the party had made of the creature's size was based on the appearance of his eye in the window. Since it was disproportionately large due to his being a cyclops, they had added an additional 5-10 feet to its size in their mental calculations.

On Worm Ships

Worm Ships are a peculiarity of Cuccagna, being a neccessity in some of its waters, for the perfect slight breezes which cool one in the gardens of that strange island are ill-suited to the occupation of sea craft, and the monstrous fauna which dwell beneath the waves of some its harbors, bays, and even some of its more turbid rivers are hazardous to vessels of more conventional type. The average worm ship looks like a largish gondola of pure white wood, often with elaborate carvings and certainly with fluted bow and stern to make it resemble in part the warships of ancient Acheron - though these "rams" are merely of wood and their similarity to those ships of old is but an aesthetic affectation. 

The most notable thing about the worm ship, regardless of its side, is its method of propulsion, for it relies not on sails but rather on a strange, shimmering-pink polychete worm bred for such purpose by some wizard of the island. The worminger, the sole necessary crewman on such a vessel, steers not from the back but from the front by prodding the worms with a specialized goad of wood and metal. Most work in teams of two or three, often accompanied by more conventional ship crews, for the prodding of an enormous sea worm is a dangerous business and the hardened bristles along the beast's segments can often snare the goad and hoy a man into the bosom of the ocean - and the waiting jaws of the worms.

The worms movement through the water drags the boat behind them, making the fact that the winds serve only the whims of some wizard of mercurial mood and great puissance a non-issue. Their perturbation of the water drives away the sawfish and swordfish which haunt this length of the Middle Sea. Cuccagna is well known as a site of shipwrecks and these creatures, who use their hardened and strangely shaped snouts to bore through the wood of a ship or to spear it at great speed, are one of the reasons why.

Worm ships allow characters to move across sea hexes as though they were traveling on foot on a road across clear terrain. Few wormingers will drive their away from site of the shore, for while the worms prevent the predation of weapon-snouted fish, there are more sinister things which lurk in the deeps near the island.