Wednesday, September 28, 2022

In Fair Cuccagna - a Pun Delayed

The Wandering Monster Table

The Mute Woman -- A Scheme -- A Scintillating Serpent -- A Companion Lost -- The Fountain -- A Secret Door -- A Terror Out of the Past -- The Room Beyond -- Treasure -- A Compromise -- A Retreat -- A Termination of Contract -- The Golden Sword -- Of Spells

Characters Present
Cristobert 2nd Level Karslish Mountebank [Later in the Session]
Jules Mozarin 1st Level Averois Magician
Maglor 1st Level Changeling
Folavril 1st Level Averois Rogue
Emmelot, 1st level Averois Magician
Bouduin, 1st level Frogling

Baldassare - A cuccagnan magician now apprenticed to Jules
Magdalena - A woman pirate
Zaneta - A woman pirate (eaten by a serpent)
The Mute Woman - A mute linkperson

  • In the Great Wen the party debated which of the new crop of hirelings they were going to pick up, and Jules seemed intrigued by the presence of a mute woman whose services he acquired as a porter. The others were avoided as they wanted shares of treasure and experience instead of a daily wage.
  • Folavril, having heard of the miraculous healing powers of the fountain in Prospero the Blue's manse, quickly came up with a scheme: they would enter the dungeon, retrieve more of the water from the fountain - preferably several doses worth - then demonstrate its effectiveness on the mute woman who was clearly only mute because of the removal of her tongue under mysterious circumstances.
  • The scheme was met with tepid enthusiasm from the rest of the group, who seemed to prefer delving for its own sake and wondered whether the mute woman even wanted her tongue back. For her part she seemed indifferent and, through careful use of gestures, expressed that she saw herself as merely the pawn of fickle fortune and the restoration of her tongue would be the equal of losing it.
  • They again entered by the secret entrance and made their way down the long eastern corridor. Once they found themselves outside the room with the fountain, Maglor spied the strange patterns of a scitalis approaching from the north easterly bend of the corridor.
  • Soon the creature had advanced within the light of the torch, striking more than half of the party with the strange fascination that is the purview of such beasts.
  • It then wrapped itself around Zaneta and began to unhinge its jaw to swallow her. The fighters of the party merely stared dumb-struck while the few magicians tried to figure out a solution.
  • Emmelot used a scroll she had prepared of magic missile to strike the beast, which greatly upset it, and seeing the beast was woundable the mute woman moved to strike it with a wooden scratch plow - her only possession.
  • The creature was bleeding profusely but as it made to retreat - Zaneta still firmly in its mouth - it was decided that the best  course was not to  follow it, even when the fighters regained their senses. And so was Zaneta taken off into the dark never to be seen again.
  • The party was then able to make their way to the fountain unimpeded, and a new waterskin full of the stuff was gathered by Folavril. The rest of the party engaged in a debate of why anyone would keep a single scitalis, much less more than one.
  • They then preceded down the hallway the scitalis had come down, but Maglor's keen senses spotted a secret door they had passed by several times, though only in outline and not the mechanism by which such a thing would open.
  • The party began to search, but as they did so they heard a loud clomping coming from the direction immediately behind them. They turned to face whatever foe now charged them and found a strange thing.
  • It was a Wandering Monster Table* - that is a table imbued with terrible life and given fangs and the ability to ambulate around the dungeon. 
  • Bouduin quickly used his ability to hop to great effect, both hopping onto the table itself and then hopping again to flip it over.
  • The beast... er... table flailed about with its strange, rubbery legs (ending in carved lion's claws of course) but was unable to hit anything. Soon it was dead. Or destroyed. One of those.
  • Beyond the secret door they found an old store room that someone had made a makeshift sleeping area.
  • In the storeroom was a great amount of treasure, quickly found by the efforts of Folavril and Jules. It included coins, fancy objects, books, and a clearly magical sword.
  • They party then debated whether another door exiting the room should be explored or if they should instead quit while they were ahead.** A compromise was made where Jules, the one most fervently for continued exploration, was allowed to examine the door, but not go through it.
  • And so the party exited the dungeon.
  • Back in the Great Wen Magdalena announced that she would no longer be following the party into the dungeon due to the unfortunate fate of Zaneta.
  • Meanwhile, Jules used his read magic spell to read the runes on the sword, which named itself Caliban's Claw.
  • The party wizards then looked over the scroll they had uncovered from within the secret chamber. Jules, Emmelot, and Baldassare tried to add one of the spells - sleep - to their spell book. Emmelot and Baldassare were able to do so, but Jules has yet to comprehend the complexities, much to the amusement of his apprentice.

* I have had this monster on the encounter tables for many years - going all the way back to about 2008 or 2009 - but this is the first time it ever came up as a result. Probably the most appropriate campaign for it too.

** Except for Zaneta


  1. But what happened with the Mute Woman's tongue? We have to know!

    1. Her fate is yet to be decided! Folavril wanted to use her as a demonstration to sell the water, but they didn't get enough liquid to sell any after the demonstration.

  2. Also, Wandering Monster Table = brilliant.