In Fair Cuccagna - All that Glitters

A Proof of Puissance - Of Pirates and Shares - A Debate of Doors - A Body Found - Magic Mouth Again - On Mapping - An Old Room - On the Languages of Twins - A Grand Hall Without a Puzzle - The Fickle Fate of Dogheads and Pirates - Cracks in Reality and Cracks in Walls - A King of Piss - Finding Loot - Labor - Another Hook for the Same Fish

Characters Present

Cristobert 1st (now 2nd) Level Karslish Mountebank
Jules Mozarin 1st Level Averois Magician
Craveel the Craven 1st Level Zenopolitan Fighter

Folavril 1st Level Averois Rogue

Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council Smythe 1st level Karslish Cleric

Hirelings

Maria - a one armed man in search of his complimentary one armed friend.

Baldassare - A cuccagnan magician now apprenticed to Jules

Agostino and Pietro-paolo - Two (deceased) pirates

Giacomo - A pirate still possessing his life

Events

• The session began in the Prince Dauphin/King Fish with Jules Mozarin asking his potential apprentice the nature of his foreign spell - The Importunate Insult. Baldassare merely answered with a gesture of a wand and soon Jules found himself overcome by the desire to kill his opponent. However the effect was over in an instant and Jules, laughing, agreed to hire the young magician, offering to give him one half of his own share.
• The party then began to debate a trio of pirates who wished to split a share between them but offered to serve as toughs and bodyguards. It was eventually decided that the dungeon is dangerous enough to warrant the use of such ruffians even at the increased cost, and Cristobert professed a hope that they would all die in the upcoming outing.
• They then took the worm-ship again to Prospero the Blue's manse. Outside they debated whether to again go by the secret entrance or the main entrance into the squat blue tower. Without their mapper they were unsure how near the secret entrance the land of the pseudomonopods lay.
• Soon one of the company noted some figure placed near the secret entrance that did not appear to be one of the strangely realistic statues. Soon it was discovered this was Testus, who earlier lost his life to the pseudomonopods. He had been strung up on a set of small boards, perhaps to serve as a warning against further trespass.
• Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council moved to get the body so it could be removed a bit and await a proper burial. He asked the priates to fan out and protect him but also carefully watched their reactions at seeing their reactions to a hireling being found in such a fashion. They seemed somewhat at ease with such violent ends. They were pirates, after all.
• There was a brief discussion of just what a "monopod" was, as Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council had not encountered the creatures. It was agreed that the party generally also had yet to encounter true monopods, due to the smallness of foot of those within the dungeon.
• This sign was taken to mean that the secret door was indeed near the pseudomonopods and therefore they headed south through the stout tower. Progress was slowed somewhat by Jules taking up mapping - the absence of their earlier mapper having shown the group the necessity of multiple copies.
• It was decided that they would hug the southern wall of the great room which contained the Magic Mouth in the hopes it would not trigger. Unfortunately it was found that their proposed destination - a large hall they had passed by a few times in the outing before last - could not be gained without crossing the magical threshold.
• The mouth made its pronouncement ("I can't come to the door right now...") but no creatures came ot molest the party.
• Passing up a nearby hall they found a door that they only vaguely remembered from previous exploration. A debate began about whether or not it should be opened with Jules ultimately arguing it should be since it would help complete the map and could not contain too large an area due to the fact that it lay between their current location and the exterior.
• Beyond they found a t-intersection and took the path south. There they found a small room used for firing arrows at trespassers. They had been here before, as was indicated by the empty arrow barrel and empty weapon racks; however, it confirmed Jules suspicion and also meant they had yet to pass through the north door of the intersection.
• Folavril listened at this door and heard many creatures clicking and warbling in some private language unknown to the outside world though clearly perhaps derivative of some earthly tongue.
• Some debate was had over whether or not this door should be opened. Ultimately this course of action was decided against and they left to go investigate the hall that had been their first target.
• And soon they found it - colonnaded and lined with braziers. Folavril lit all the braziers but seemingly this provided no effect outside of lighting. The room was dominated by two thrones, both broken. One seemed to have been smitten with some sort of great heat, with charred marks along its cracked face. The other had been destroyed by the traditional action of blunt force.
• One of the members of the party began to look through the rubble which attracted the attention of a number of toy dogheads from a nearby room. At first the dogheads seemed happy to see the party, as a few were recognizable to those that had previously fought alongside them against slimes. They were given a great number of rations and asked about nearby rooms.
• Unable to speak except in a yipping bark, they led the party into the room from which they had come. This was a guard room but also held treasure - a pile of platinum pieces and zircon cabachons. The eyes of the party became as the orbs of Valax, such was their avarice, and they concocted a plan seemingly wordlessly to separate the miniature dogheads from their treasure.
• Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council lifted a staff he carried and asked "do you like fetch?" The dogheads responded only with confusion. Hoping his plan would still work, he attempted to throw the staff back into the hall so that they would race off, giving Cristobert and Folavril time to work their roguish arts.
• Unfortunately all he succeeded in doing was smacking one of the little dogheads in the face, which greatly angered them and moved them to violence. Jules shut the door hoping to contain the anger to only those dogheads in the room with them, but the struggle soon involved both groups.
• The dogheads were overcome but not without the deaths of two of the pirates. Some of the party expressed dismay that such cute creatures had to die, but even those that did found their relentless onslaught annoying.
• Giacomo, now bereft of his two companions, agreed to continue to serve as the front line but only if their bodies would later be brought outside and given burial rights. Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council agreed.
• They then bound up a number of the weapons - short swords and spears - that were set for the doghead guards in this guard chamber and made their way back into the hall.
• At the edge of the great hall was either a set of alcoves or passages, and the party decided the exploration of these should be their next priority. They found that they were passages, both extending off greater than their torchlight could illuminate.
• Cristobert, ever watchful for traps and other mechanical devices, noticed a strange fracture in the door that at first made him feel as though he could see through the very wall. This later turned out to be a secret door and the party made ready to open it.
• Beyond the door was a once ornately appointed bedchamber, now largely burnt. A strange creature made of various animal parts placed roughly in human shape - much like the lost souls of the infamous Nightwick Abbey - stood before the bed micturating. He wore not but a cape and did not seek to hide the nakedness of his form.
• The party interrogated him some and learned that 1) he believed Prospero the Blue to be dead and Prospero the Purple to have "taken his color" 2) the manse was a place of arrogance and folly where a pretender sought to make himself king and that 3) he was the true king of the island.
• For this strange meeting the party dubbed him "the Piss King." They decided they wanted to loot the room and were not going to let some weirdo who "pees where he sleeps" further ruin their treasure. Cristobert attempted to strike him with a shot of his bow but found it bounced off his hide as if it struck granite.
• This did not deter the party, for they had magic weapons they believed would be sovereign against such a creature. Craveel and Folavril quickly rushed in with Sharp and Witchslayer. Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council followed after and attempted to aid them by pushing over the creature. Cristobert entered in an attempt to see if any treasure was obvious. He saw something glittering under the bed.
• Soon the piss king's life was ended, his last act was to call out for his mother.
• The treasure under the bed included a great deal of coinage (only some of which had been marred by the waste of the piss king) and a jeweled torque. The party fished the coins out with various implements to avoid polluting their hands and then had the hirelings carry the coins which were wet.
• This they decided was a good enough haul to leave the dungeon with and so they did, stopping only to retrieve the bodies of Agostino and Pietro-paolo.
• Back at the Great Wen the bulk of the party practiced their day jobs - Craveel served as a smith, Jules as a scribe, Cristobert as a lookout, and Gax-exiled-from-his-own-council as a street preacher. 
• Folavril, for his part, decided instead to gain rumors about "a place that would be easy to rob. Unfortunately he only heard about the opposite. Three bravos it seems had recently set out to rob the infamous House of the Gnoles, but none of them had returned to speak of it.

Monsters Defeated

13 Toy Dogheads, 1 Piss King

Treasure Gained

10 zircon cabochons (50gp each), 50pp, 1000gp, 5143cp, jeweled torque (500gp), a warped nightstand, 5 spears, 5 short swords

XP Per Player
587